Dear Christmas,

I always dismiss this time of year

Yes, it’s most definitely because of you

It’s not just your standard pressure to buy gifts

Descending into a subterranean solemness

My cranium bursts from a far-off mindset

Reminiscing Christmas’s I once spent with her

Strands of lights no longer strike me

They hold no beauty

Glazed eyes basking blankly as memories play over them like a movie screen

The first projection is a reflection of my small face in the elegant punch bowl

Too small to reach, you’d always fill a glass of Holiday punch for me

Every year you’d have me pick a color of candy cane from the Christmas tree

“Have one, two, or tree. Have them all if you wish” you’d smile and say to me

After tasting every selection of candy cane

I’d race to the buffet where the best silver was displayed

Grandma always gave me a polished fork and spoon after telling me sit down and she’d be with me soon

Aromas of classic dishes filled the air

Honey ham, thick biscuits with more than enough butter to spare

Every year it was the best meal I’d ever had

Same dishes, prepared exactly the same ways

It was the love I felt when you’d ask me if I enjoyed it

The way you’d smile and tell me how glad you were I was here to spend Christmas with you

Holiday lights, they’re nothing but a blur to me now

Christmas triggers an ice storm over my heart

A unique mixture of frozen, detached and numb

It’ll never be the same without you

**I miss you every day of my life Grandma White… I can’t believe it’s been nearly 9 years… Your last breath was to tell me you loved me; I hope you heard me when I said I love you too… Rest in peace, I hope to see you again.**

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